Elie Mystal suggests “It’s Time to Repeal—and Replace—the Second Amendment.” You know, I love that man. I dither around the edges, nibbling at my discontent, and he plants his flag right at the core. And he’s right. When did this insane interpretation become mainstream? Putin’s NRA Republicans blather about every individual’s right to unlimited assault rifles and ammo and we don’t even blink. None of that crap is historically accurate. That was never the deal.
Tell you what. Let’s give everyone their historically appropriate right to arms. We’ll allow every White American land-owning male to buy himself one muzzle-loading single-shot black-powder long gun. That’s it: no cartridges, bolt-action, or rifling. Take it or leave it. And you can only exercise this right as part of a well-ordered militia. Got it? Take time out from your job to drill and train with other militia members.
Think of it this way. You get all the military cosplay you want. Keep that rifle handy and in good working order! I hear that black-powder guns are messy and wildly inaccurate, but they’re fun to shoot.
But when the state calls up your militia, you show up and follow orders, stand that line, and fight against rebellion or disorder. Because historically accurate militias are agents of the state.
Take originalism by the ‘nads and squeeze.
All you people who want guns for self-defense in the home? Just buy a damn security system.
