Republican brainworms have eaten the minds of our major media. That seems like a bad thing. Does anyone have a good braincare specialist they can recommend?
I’ve complained before that the media can’t seem to report on bad actors accurately. Even Nathan complains. The big bully Republicans attacked them, saying they all had a “liberal media bias,” which gave them a sad. Apparently, facts lean Democratic. It was even more surprising how easily a shameless lying political party could game the fourth estate into silence.
A few days ago, the Washington Post published a Media Perspective piece: “Four years ago, I wondered if the media could handle Trump. Now we know.” It was personal and well-written, so I don’t want to be mean, but it was just self-congratulatory tripe. Sorry, WaPo, but no, you still don’t know how to handle Trump or any other… well, let’s call them ‘disingenuous actors.’ Or lying, traitorous, viciously poisonous pond scum. Or just ‘Republicans.’
As I was catching up on my news this morning, I stubbed my toe on another Post article: “Silicon Valley braces for tougher regulation in Biden’s new Washington.” And yes, that headline is so amazingly boring it could drill holes in your brain all by itself. But that’s not the brainworms talking.
Why is that bit of nothing worth the attention? Because the title is a solid, refined block of Republican manipulation. And nobody at the Post noticed.
Start at the top: “Silicon Valley….” Wow. First, of course, that’s both trite and wrong: tech is all over. More importantly, it’s just a damn dog whistle. It’s like using “Swiss Bankers” when you really mean “Jews.”
“…Braces for…,” sounds like they’re manning the barricades, doesn’t it? Will they hunker in the cellar, worried a hurricane will blow all the crops away? Or maybe they’re just squinting really hard and pretending they’re in a Clint Eastwood movie. “Braces” isn’t a terrible meme, but it’s a tired cliché, like calling every bus accident a “plunge.” (Stupid trick: Google “bus plunge.’ I got 12M hits.)
“…Tougher….” Talk about a solid Republican meme. Does ‘tougher’ mean more intrusive, more robust, more onerous, more effective, or only more masculine? Republicans use the word all the time, but mostly for empty attacks or manly posturing. (And why is the Right’s insecurity about their sexuality my problem?)
“…Regulation…” is a freaking GOP masterpiece. Swear to god, it’s right up there with ‘Bureaucrat.’ The very word makes you feel like spitting, right? It’s everything that freedom-loving Americans fought a revolution to overthrow!
Or, you know, maybe dedicated people wrote rules to do good things or stop the bad stuff. It’s a thought, right? “Don’t run with scissors” was one of my Mom’s regulations, but she was probably a socialist. Look, unless you’re playing Calvinball solo, everyone needs a clear set of rules or your life gets weird.
“But… but… but, what about those business-killing regulations!!”
Please stop waving your sign at the screen. I can see you.
Try this thought experiment: who here feels we don’t need any of those unAmerican business rules? Hands? OK! Start with worker safety. Take it from me: OSHA regulations are really complicated and expensive. Just think about the cost savings to manufacturing if we drop them. I mean, it’s not like you needed all ten fingers….
Anyway, I’m just saying the headline was partisan hack-speak riddled with Republican brainworms. These phrases were designed to drive up emotions and overcome clear thought. Why didn’t anyone notice they were talking in Orwellian Newspeak? I know the phrases became pervasive, but that’s only because the media gave up trying to stop it. Unconsciously or not, the press surrendered, accepting Republican memes whole. And it works: Control the Language, and You Control the Masses.
Besides, these are companies in the communications biz. More importantly for a news company, hostile memes are terrible descriptors. Hack-speak is notoriously (and intentionally) slippery.
Here’s a test: Given this headline:
Silicon Valley braces for tougher regulation in Biden’s new Washington.
Washington Post, January 18, 20201
Which of the following statements is the closest paraphrase of that headline?
- “America’s Internet Services monopolies prepare legal challenges to prevent the incoming administration from demanding greater worker protections.”
- “Struggling high technology corporations predict lower profits from an incomprehensible labyrinth of worthless reporting requirements from the new anti-business President.”
- “Spying social media companies cower at the possibility that an utterly inexperienced administration might force them to limit their surveillance.”
- “Tech bros cower in terror as Biden shouts, ‘Hire more girls!'”
I think it’s weird. These are supposedly smart people who swear they’re completely woke. And yet, here they are, spreading manipulative Republican attack-memes as if they’re real ideas. Really, nobody needs more brainworms. But I can still find examples in almost any Top Stories section.
We know language matters. So, why do I still have to make that argument to writers and reporters? Just say no to brainworms.
