Republicans want sick Americans.  I mean, that’s gotta be it, right?  They opened bars and restaurants during a wildfire pandemic. They’re forcing us back into schools they know are COVID-19 hotspots.  They know it. Hard to see many reasons for it.  Pretty sure they’re not trying to reward us for our political independence.

Besides, they know most of us are so damn tired of masks and distancing.  We let our guard down.  Watching Fox News (sorry, it’s always on in the bar) is an education.  They love those posts of dancing crowds.  The hosts get hard-ons. Sure, they’re sneering and shaking their heads, but they love that crap.  Yeah, Republicans want sick Americans.  They can barely hold back the gloats.  I’m they’re hoping the fuckin’ kids cough their lungs out.

Yeah, subtle shade, Bub.  How did Tulsa treat ya?

See, here’s the thing: Republicans use people’s suffering to get re-elected.  They’ve been trying to make people miserable and desperate since I was a kid.  They know how to do it, and it works.  Adults are fucking weird that way, especially old white guys.  (Stop slobbering at me, asshat!)  After the first shutdown, fucking nobody wanted to open early.  And even so, Republican white guys opened the bars and tattoo joints early.  Right, and massage places, too!  Fucking essential, I’m sure.  Talk about a shit-stupid move.  Everything went reliably tits-up in three weeks, and sick people are squeezing out the back doors of every ER. 

And now the Republican fucks are forcing all of us back into cesspool hallways so we can listen to the droning in person.  Like opening the schools was super-popular.  What a crap-storm.  And here we are, stuck in the middle, trying to hold our breath as we squeeze between lame-ass bros who decided masks aren’t manly enough for their lily-pink butts. I’m sure they think it’ll get them girls.

There’s got to be some long-term payoff.  The Death Party’s working too hard at it.  Maybe they get a thrill from sick people?  Even those morons can’t see a raging pandemic sweeping them into office this cycle.  Assuming we get a chance to vote, I guess.

Maybe that’s it: using a plague as cover.  I can imagine the pitch.

Hey, loyal citizens! With all that sickness killing your families, you know what? We need the send in more asswipe DHS Goon Squads to federalize the vote!  It’s for your own election safety.  LAW AND ORDER!  Besides, if you can’t trust the secret police snatching people into unmarked cars, who can you trust?  It’s not like we’ve lied to you before.

Republicans want sick Americans.  Clear as a sharp glass edge to me. 

Here’s another hint.  Have you heard about the new Yale test for SARS-CoV-19?  They got a new spit test that’s extra-fast; you get the answer in minutes, not days. The test is easier to make, and it’s easy to process.  Now, notice that Republicans aren’t touting that fancy new test as another Republican victory?  These are the douche-buckets who crow about every far-off vaccine candidate and insane chemical nonsense.  Hey, guys, another Clorox shooter?

But none of these braggarts are making a big fuss about a possible gamechanger test.  Funny omission, right?  Imagine McConnell or Trump really wanted to make things better.  Those GOP skidmarks would be jumping up and down, puffing themselves up about their fast and painless testing.  And they’d be quietly making tons of cash in their usual sweet-ass illegal deals. 

Funny.  I don’t see any of them pretending they developed the test personally.  Weird time to get all distant. It’s almost like Republicans want sick Americans.