Republicans are always surprised that people keep calling them racists. Why are those people always so mean to them? And Republicans show almost the same surprise when someone points out how so many of their policies seem to punish or banish brown people disproportionately.
Really, it’s a huge voter fraud problem. Sure, nobody has proven it, or even pretended to have seen it, but it’s there, and that’s why we put restrictions on voting. No, those are state ID fees, and not poll taxes. That’s an ugly rumor.
Cutting voting hours in poor districts? No, that’s not at all because people of color usually vote Democratic. Besides, you can’t tell us how many people are affected, because it’s hard to know. And really, it’s faithfulness to the original intention that simply forces us — we have no choice! — undercount poor people in every census. And to underfund the next census.
And letting in more foreigners? Really? People talk about refugees like they were innocent. We all know that we can’t allow refugees into our country because of the nonexistent crime they cause. No, it’s not at all because they’re brown and scary, although they do talk funny, and their food tastes weird. Still, I’m insulted at your insinuation. And immigrants? Why should we let them in at all? It’s not like we need them, the moochers.
Why, oh why, do they still call us racists? Just because we went all-out for Texas and Florida (sorta), but couldn’t find Puerto Rico or the U.S. Virgin Islands on a U.S. map? It was just that one week or two. Besides, who knew they were Americans? I bet most people didn’t know that.
What’s with the war on women? We were the people who first told all those girls that they were being catered to, and that Democrats were behind it. We told that to them all the time. And now they’re saying we hate women? Sure, we tried to cut medical care, legal protections, abuse resources, insurance requirements, and reimbursement rates, and closed every women’s health care center we could, and added limitations on abortion, and dropped all that icky girl stuff.
And now it’s contraceptives. Think about it realistically. Why should any man be forced to allow girls to buy contraceptives if we don’t want them to? Really, do you think that’s fair? Without that, there might not be a chance for a man to even weigh in! That wouldn’t be right. Everyone important tells us so.
This is such a mystery to all of us. Racists, indeed!
