I know we’re struggling through this plague. Academics and the chattering class search under every rock for deep motives and rational explanations for the endless misinformation memes. Look, people (can I call you ‘people’?), it’s not that complicated. They’re memes, not ideas. They’re not rational, reasoned precepts. Completely different animal. Can we stop pretending there’s something complex and hard to understand underlying it all?

Here’s my first article on memes from way back in 2017:

I love the broader meaning of a ‘meme’ as an idea that swims in our collective consciousness. They survive if you think about them. They propagate if you share it with someone else, who then remembers it. A good meme punches your buttons and is easily spread — communicated — to other people.

Three String Raconteur, “Hollowed Out,” Feb. 21, 2017.

(There’s also a later article: “Republican Brainworms Eat the Press.”)

So, I’m closer to the memetics version than Richard Dawkins’ original definition but close enough. The ideas that stay in our heads and spread to other people easily are the ideas we find most rewarding. We love the thoughts that give us a thrill, that moment of self-satisfaction. And the memes that give us a strong rush with short duration are the most addictive. Or infectious. (Who am I to make picky semantical distinctions?)

Historical example: Remember “We support our troops!”? Most recently, President Bush (the Elder) used it as a political attack to distract us from his Persian Gulf war. Just like “God Bless America!”, it was a perfect misinformation meme: it gave people that quick emotional rush (“We’re better than you!”), it could infect you from a bumper sticker, and it meant nothing more than a Republican tribal marker.

No, it didn’t matter that nobody was against the troops. That was never the point, but it didn’t stop pundits from wasting our time arguing against it endlessly.

“Liberals!” (shouted with a sneer) is a similar Republican meme. What did it really mean? Nothing concrete, but it was a great Republican anti-tribal marker for ‘them.’ “Woke!” is the same nothing-burger repackaged in MAGA Trump flags. More inchoate loathing. And anything about “pronouns” is just a raw scream of sexual terror.

(I have no idea why they’re so sexually insecure. But MAGA-people? Stand down. Swear to god, nobody wants to take away your dick.)

(Well, almost nobody. Kari may have words here.)

The rest of us always miss the point. Look at “Woke!”, the new “Socialism/Communism!” (Republicans used them interchangeably). Opinion writers spend wasted hours talking through each accusation embedded in these generic sneers. You’d think we’d notice that nothing we say changes anything. And that shouldn’t surprise anyone. What part of the concept of a “tribal marker” got lost? I mean, no matter how many carefully reasoned, logical arguments liberals make and the concessions they offer, in the end, you still won’t be a MAGA Republican. Bang, done.

Pop Quiz (True/False): Suppose liberals accepted everything crazy thing that Republicans shove into their “woke” bucket. I mean agree to every single ridiculous conspiracy theory and xenophobic bit of nonsense. And, once their concerns have been addressed, the MAGA crowd will stop screaming “Woke!”

False, of course. They’d just change their definition. The ecstatic, transgressive bellowing was always the point.

They’re lying, and they won’t let you in their club anyway. Can we stop pretending?

Misinformation memes (“Second Amendment!”) can be the most deceptive. They sound (“CRT!”) like real issues (“Parental rights!”), but we already know that’s just camouflage. (“Tough on Crime!”) First hint: any phrase (“Stolen election!”) that insists you shout isn’t a real argument.

I do find the “You won’t take my guns!” meme pretty entertaining. It seems so Freudian, and so inadvertently honest. I mean, my answer is still no. No matter how much you beg, I’m not grabbing your dick. Please stop asking me to join your cosplay. But I appreciate the offer? (Don’t want to be impolite.)