I wonder why we keep talking about how we’re all equal under the law, as if the system works just the same for everyone. Here’s Jennifer Ruben:

For four years of the Trump administration, Americans suffered through a dangerous, aberrational and thoroughly unfit president. And for nearly two years since the 2020 election, they have suffered through the antics of a dangerous, aberrational and thoroughly unfit former president who never accepted that he lost and doesn’t seem to understand he remains subject to the same laws the rest of the country lives under.

Thank you, Obamas, for showing how a former first family should behave,” Jennifer Rubin, Sept. 9, 2022, Washington Post.

Such high-flying phrases. “[Trump] remains subject to the same laws the rest of the country lives under.” It’s a lovely thought, isn’t it? An essential part of the American mythos is to insist we’re all equal under the law. Attorney General Merrick Garland repeats the phrase automatically.

But who really thinks the rich and famous get the same treatment?

Trump Has Been Above the Law His Whole Life

Private Citizen Donald Trump followed in his daddy’s footsteps, committing massive real estate scams, financial fraud, sexual assault, and god knows what. How many of those were resolved in court? Not many. Most are still tied up in delays and appeals, some for decades. Some have been settled out of court for cash, sealed records, and binding Non-Disclosure Agreements. Even the cash payments usually came from other people.

When Trump stumbled into his disastrous presidency, the limits on public money only increased the speed of his criminality. He happily and illegally suckled off the public teat, bleeding money on campaign events and ‘personal expenses’ while collecting campaign donations that keep magically disappearing. What did happen to his missing Inaugural Fund? Twice-impeached ex-President Crazy Pants is still committing felonies and skating as if American laws don’t apply to him. Think about Sneezy’s post-defeat half-billion dollar ‘legal defense fund’ that still doesn’t exist. Where is that money, anyway?

It gets worse. Remember all those credible accusations of rape, sexual assault, and sexual harassment filed against Trump since the 1970s? I haven’t kept count, but over fifty women accused him. Ever wonder where those cases went? Equal under the law?

Trump Should Be In Jail Already

Can anyone explain why Trump’s not in jail yet? He’s not even close. I know people talked about it, but his freedom should raise some more serious concerns about our nation.

Trump wins by tying up all the charges against him in court. Donald Q Wannabe routinely ignores subpoenas that would put me in jail, but Mr. Sleezy gets to walk away for all the wrong reasons. Trump lost, what, one case about his egregiously corrupt charity, and even then, other people paid the fine. The Holy MAGA Greaser’s never been convicted of a crime, even as his servants go to prison for doing his bidding. “Unindicted Co-conspirator_1.” Equal under the law, my wrinkly ass.

He’s Teflon Donny because Trump is rich and famous enough to tie up every charge against him in court. Delay, appeals, defiance, more delay, and more appeals. Years after Trumpboots dies, his estate will still be delaying the cases against him.

So, it’s no surprise that private citizen Trumpy is in the middle of more felonies. One of them is a severe security breach. That seems bad, right?

Me, I’d have SWAT teams breaking down my door. Just one stolen classified document would end my career and put me in prison. Look at Reality Winner or Daniel Everette Hale, who thought they were doing good things.

But not Squishy Butt. Nope! When he first stole that stuff, our government deferred. When he sat on them (those poor papers!), we delayed. When McSquinty lied and obstructed justice, we only asked again, pretty please. Now we know ex-President Dumpsters stole secrets that threaten our national security and may have killed some of our best spies. Guess what? More ex-Executive deference. It’s not like Trump even bothers to pretend he’s acting in good faith.

I don’t know how Jennifer Rubin can believe there’s only one legal system. She says, “…[Trump] doesn’t seem to understand.” Honestly, Trump’s vision of the law is closer to the ground truth than either Rubin or A.G. Garland. Trump has always been above the law.

Special Master for Short-Bus Trump

Last week, Federal judge Aileen Cannon just invented a whole new area of law that only applies to famous former Republican Presidents. She ruled that the DOJ can act legally and ethically, following all the rules, but that’s not enough. The rule of law is only for normies. For ex-Presidents, the DOJ must also give Trump the public appearance of fairness. Judge Cannon wrote, “Even if DOJ filter review teams often pass procedural muster, they are not always perceived to be as impartial as special masters.”

Appearance and perception? Really?

Here’s a hint: you don’t really need a Special Master for a package that says “Classified,” “Secret,” or “Top Secret” on the front. For now, Trump operates under this new, only-for-him, consequence-free zone. I wonder what other laws Judge Cannon will invent for Trump if he asks?

(I wrote pages of analysis of Judge Cannon’s groveling ruling, then deleted it. It was too excruciating to read. You’re welcome. Feel free to read the judge’s ruling here, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

Keep the DOJ out of Politics by Embedding It Deeply into Politics?

Let’s look forward. The DOJ is deciding whether to pause their investigation of private citizen Trump because of their 60-day rule. The DOJ made a rule saying they won’t file or announce any legal action that might affect the outcome of the upcoming election. (We’re supposed to ignore James Comey.)

On the surface, this is a good idea. We all want to keep the Justice Department out of partisan politics. But the application seems weirdly… well, political.

Can Trump Hide Behind the 60-Day Rule?

Everyone asking whether the DOJ will suspend any announcements about ex-President Trump because of the 60-day rule.

WTF? Is Trump running for office somewhere? Did I miss that? No? OK then, how does the DOJ rule work?

Does the 60-day rule apply because Trump is just influential? Wait. Does the DOJ rule apply to everyone who’s in politics? Nobody’s arguing that (I hope not; that’s super-crazy.)

Does the rule only apply to former Presidents or cabinet-level officials? Clearly not. Again, see James Comey.

But, you know? Their deference might apply to Steve Bannon. He’s been convicted of Contempt of Congress for not appearing before the Jan. 6 Committee. He just defied the subpoena. And yet, magically, Bannon won’t be sentenced until December, carefully scheduled after the election that Dems are projected to lose. Does the 60-day rule include political felons and seditionists? Or does the DOJ want to ensure that Republicans don’t, you know, accidentally lose?

OK, I think I’ve got the gist. The DOJ 60-day rule requires special dispensation for anyone running for office, former Republican presidents, White Nationalist demagogues, any potential despots whose followers threaten violence, and, really, any Republican blowhard with more than 100 Twitter followers.

Gotcha. Good that we’re being all apolitical and stuff.

No, We’re Not Equal Under the Law

America will never be fair or equal when rich people buy their way out of court. Sorry, but we need to stop pretending. No, we’re not all “equal before the law.” So, now that we know it’s bullcrap, can we please stop saying it? I know it’s self-soothing, but it’s annoying as shit.

Me, I’m going the other way. I think that being equal before the law would be excellent. I think that’s something we should try to do. Wouldn’t that be better than closing our minds and pretending?