What the hell? Have we gotten immune to Republican treachery? Sure, they staged a violent insurrection. And yes, the Grand Old Party of White Supremacy is now fully QAnon-compliant, but even the NeoQ pretends they’re saving our children. When did real people start to accept that a high GOP kill ratio was just something that happens? That’s on us, so what’s wrong here?
I don’t have any inside information on the exact terms Baphomet made with the GOP. Ted, Jim, Mitch, Kevin, and the rest have signatures in blood in a book somewhere; that’s obvious. But what are the specific terms? We don’t know, but we can see the shape of it. Just look at what they do.
What have Republicans given up? As near as I can tell, it’s everything.
Republicans loved to play Patriot. Now they’re the Anti-democratic party. Republicans hate elections officially now. Fair fights are for suckers.
Racist? Ever since the Dixiecrats switched to Team Hypocrisy in ’64. Trump said the quiet part out loud. That’s all.
Pro-autocracy? Sure, everyone remembers Trump groveling to Putin or Kim Jong Un’s love letters, but most of the Cold War RealPolitik was conservatives installing and maintaining convenient autocrats. Or look back at almost every South American nation.
The GOP as pro-military and pro-defense? They gave it up for Lent and liked it so much they never came back.
How about that Rule of Law? You know, the defining part of any liberal democracy? Naa! Hit those Capitol Police Officers! Use that Blue Lives Matter flagpole. That immunity to irony must be nice. Besides, everyone on Fox and Friends knows those people beating the cops can’t really be rioters. I mean, they’re Republicans. And White. Those fiddling little federal assault rules shouldn’t apply here. I mean, did you see how White they were?
America’s international alliances? Democratic institutions? Republicans won’t waste time on those. Only fairy girly-men care about that stuff. Republicans are far too busy being all manly.
What have Republicans chosen to replace all those old morals and discarded political ideas? Antivaxx nonsense and empty cultural wars. I mean, they’re against education on principle! They paint “Competence” as a disqualifier! That by itself is a big win for the Dark Lord.
But now, the Republicans are 100 percent focused on pushing up the GOP kill ratio. The Party faithful have shown great delight in re-subjugating people of color, pushing up addiction rates, and hacking the social fabric into shreds. But driving innocent people into grinding, desperate poverty isn’t enough. Not anymore. Republicans seem to need large-scale death counts. Good thing they have the tools for it.
Remember when Republicans started a major war in Afghanistan? And, not happy with one horrific hot war, they lied and cheated their way into a second unwinnable war in Iraq. That one sent the GOP kill ratio shooting (ha!) up the charts. Destabilize the entire region, too. Ah, good times for Republicans. But even the longest war in American history doesn’t last forever.
But what to do next, after the daily death totals drop? Republicans already used War, so the next horseman must be Pestilence. Trump and the Shouting Republicans managed to boost COVID-19 death counts by hundreds of thousands of people. All by themselves! I think they were disappointed they didn’t get to watch Grandma hack her lungs out, but otherwise, talk about a Republican success story! “We need freedom from those pesky public health precautions! Masks are for sissies. And how DARE you tell me to vaccinate my kids!!”
What, you think that’s weird and insane? Well, sure, if you’re going to get all logical about it. But it’s late in this game to pretend this isn’t deliberate. Look at every major issue, and if a Republican is there, they’re pulling for the greatest harm. Can you even imagine a good reason to cut Ebola eradication funding?
But as much fun as the White Autocracy Party had with their SARS reunion tour, that was chump change compared to the next evil GOP plan. Disease and poverty only kill hundreds of people a day. At best — on a good day — a few thousand. Again, I don’t have the details, but I’m guessing that barely covers the interest on that ‘special’ loan from the King of the Bottomless Pit.
So, what can Republicans do to boost the GOP kill ratio when hundreds a day isn’t enough? Why, they get creative! (OK, they steal someone else’s creation; close enough.) Who’s the next horseman? Famine! But how? Republicans already cut food aid everywhere the all-seeing Republican Eye could penetrate! At this point, most of the dead aren’t even Americans. Only partial credit from the Son of Perdition. How?
Yup, you got it: the Climate Crisis! Republicans have been building that Ziggerant for decades. Time to plug that vile baby in and get this campaign moving! Trump got them a rolling start, with large parts of the west and southwest becoming uninhabitable deserts. Now all the Republicans have to do is hamstring any rational response. Time to demonize (ha!) climate refugees! They’re all rapists and drug dealers, I’ve heard.
Republicans sold their souls for American power. They’re deliberately working to raise the GOP kill ratio. I can’t figure why, but we can’t pretend we don’t see it. And the worst part is that it won’t work. Like any deal with the Wicked One, the devil is in the details. Once they’ve destroyed America, their gerrymandered districts won’t matter. That loan will come due.
Shame we won’t have a country to watch it from.
