Pity the poor Donald.  Poor, poor baby.

I routinely wince through Trump’s Twitter feed because it’s helpful in….

No, I guess it’s not really ‘helpful’.  OK, so I read his thumb-ings because that’s how he shows what he believes….

No, no, not that either.  He doesn’t believe anything beyond his own greatness (which he doesn’t really believe, either).  That and all those scary brown people who want to get into his pants.

All right!  So I get a sick fascination watching Trump’s unmoderated id crash heedlessly about the presidential landscape, breaking furniture he doesn’t value and destroying all the delicate constructions he doesn’t understand.

You’re welcome.

Anyway, recently, it’s like I’m watching someone else on his feed.  Different.  Someone less impulsive, less emotional, and longer sighted.  There are tweets warning about the hurricanes, praising fire and police, “Please stay safe!”, talking about the great job the Coast Guard is doing, and telling people to follow the recommendations to evacuate.  All written by someone who doesn’t struggle with full sentences.

What’s that thumping sound from the closet?

Donnie!  Once you get the handcuffs off, the mail sack is a cinch to open!

Anyway, that lasted for a surprisingly long spell.  There I was, each day, squinting into the logical headwind that is the Trump twitter feed.  And every day, I’d blink my eyes open and think, “Tone deaf, of course, but not actually terrible.”  While re-tweeting other people’s better-written tweets, the Trump feed wrote about pulling together as a nation, it listed a useful link for hurricane shelters in Florida, and the feed even cited the Christian god Trump doesn’t believe in, on 9/11 memorial tweet.  He didn’t mention crowd sizes once.  It was all kinda nice, almost like a real President, which made it all a bit unsettling.

And then there’s today.

Fascinating to watch people writing books and major articles about me and yet they know nothing about me & have zero access. #FAKE NEWS!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 12, 2017

Yup.  That’s the real Donald.  I’d say it’s good to have you back, but why lie?  I was enjoying whatever aide who’d stolen your phone much more than you.